We recently said farewell to a dear soul who left us far too early. He was kind and thoughtful and humble and caring and curious about others and desirous to make a positive impact in the world around him. He was the young man every parent dreams to have as a son. Or as a son in-law. His departure serves as a reminder that life is delicate and that souls can be fragile.
There are good souls and bad souls, and souls that can be influenced to be better or worse by the world around them. But I know with absolute certainty that when heaven greeted our dear friend, it received a very good soul indeed. He was a good soul while amongst us and will forever be a good soul, in eternity. His departure from us is also a reminder that eternity is in process.
Eternity is happening right now — while we are breathing, sleeping and telling ourselves that we can put off confronting eternity when more convenient for us or when we are better prepared. I suspect that many of us — in these self-centered times — rarely contemplate weighty, consequential concepts like eternity. It’s far easier to defer confronting eternity until after we die. And who of us imagines we’re ever going to die? (Heck no, not in my lifetime.)
Few today seem inclined to accept the Socratic challenge of a deep examination of one’s life. We’re just too busy. Or we fear of what we may find. But there are some who ask: “what’s the point?” Some who ask this are true nihilists: they believe that neither God nor soul are required for meaning in life. It’s actually an old school (Socratic) concept that at least requires some contemplation about whether a supernatural existence is possible or even relevant. Then there are others, I believe more prevalent in our times, who believe that God and soul do indeed exist, but that the world around them just doesn’t care. I think this belief is widely held by many of our young people, who have come of age after 9-11, the Great Financial Crisis of 2008, and a global pandemic where “social distancing” was a concept to keep us safe. They see adults behaving like spoiled children and once-sacred institutions crumbling under the weight of their own importance. While these young people are eager to evolve into the best versions of themselves, they see a world in disarray. A world that is more chaotic, cruel, and uncaring than we’ve seen in recent memory.
Certainly, we’ve made incredible advances in medicine, clean energy, nutrition, crisis response, etc…but we’ve also increased poverty, famine, homelessness, drug addiction, sex trafficking, and industrial slavery. Our cities are a mess and nobody seems to care. “Tolerance” seems like politically correct code for “indifference.” A thoughtful, caring young person who observes our current state would rightly be worried and disheartened. Even idealists who truly want to make the world a better place must feel frustrated when the currents push so strongly in the opposite direction. They have no help or encouragement because everyone seems to be only in it for themselves.
Sure, we care deeply when there are sudden catastrophes, but everyday life seems like a slog through the muddy quagmire of Verdun in World War I, where artillery shells flattened entire villages into oblivion. But today is worse because, while Verdun was an isolated battlefield, social media is everywhere without end or escape. A young person’s phone might have started out as a friend, but it quickly betrays that bond by delivering unkind messages or stabs in the back from “friends” who really aren’t. It’s easy to be cruel when hiding behind something that does our bidding for us. And avoid having to look someone in the eye.
I walk the sidewalks of my city and look at everyone passing in the opposite direction. I try to smile, with my eyes or mouth — but it doesn’t matter. No one diverts their gaze from their phone or the haze beyond. It’s far different from several years ago (before cell phones) when most at least met each other’s eyes while passing. Out of curiosity, if nothing else. It’s different now. Communities should be a cohesive collection of souls who engage with each other. But our larger community — as a nation — lacks both cohesion and engagement. Which makes it lonely for those who aspire for something greater than themselves. Something with an assurance of historical perspective and a collective wisdom of heart and soul and love. Something that many of our elected leaders have actively abandoned.
The level of discourse in our highest office only motivates others to sink further in the gutter of inflammatory, hateful language. Leaders used to be inspiring and would pull us up to higher levels to care for and help each other. Today, most of our leaders are disheartening and degrade us by pushing us down to pit us against each other. How ridiculous. There used to be mothers who put soap in the mouths of such callous tongue-wagging. We need those mothers back…although we don’t have nearly enough soap. (Our previous president would soak up the world’s supply all by himself. Not that it matters: he is surely immune to soap, and we need something far stronger to clean up the mess he created.)
No wonder people are disheartened, angry, and isolated: we have a culture where all forms of collective identity have broken down and been splintered into insignificance. Our institutions are incapable of holding our trust. Government is disgracefully dysfunctional. Businesses are great at marketing and promising the moon, but provide support that leaves customers exhausted or in a murderous state (health insurance, for certain, has reached new heights of organized malevolence.) Schools are either under-resourced and struggle to equip students for survival, or over-resourced and arrogantly immunize the self-righteous from reality and responsibility. And Big Technology (our new overlord), while promoted by its creators as a savior of all our ills, is largely a temporary salve that serves a few but enslaves many.
Every institution that used to be a steward of public trust is now more likely to create confusion, chaos, or contempt. We may not have an economic depression, but it sure seems like we have a cultural one. We no longer have manners, so our morale and our morals are in the dumps. And no one seems to care. You can see it in the eyes of our youth. They are disheartened, discouraged and disengaged. As a society, we have let them down. So it’s very reasonable for some of them (especially those who are thoughtful) to ask “what’s the point?”
Surely, many of us in the course of life have asked ourselves, “what’s the point?” and we eventually resolve that meaningful goodness outweighs the conspiratorial negativity. But it seems that an alarming number of our young people determine that life is too hard. Too unkind, too unloving and indifferent. These young people, many of whom are thoughtful, kind, loving, and considerate of things beyond themselves, must feel desperately alone. They see a world around them that places higher values on things that are quite superficial and insignificant compared to things that really matter…like eternity.
I recently read an account of a successful young entrepreneur who is spending his riches on everything imaginable in order to prolong his life. He’s perfectly healthy and he wants to stay that way. He stated: “the goal of life is to live forever.” Hmmm. I suspect that if he truly feels that way, then he actually hasn’t lived long enough. He hasn’t experienced both the elation of surprising joys and the sudden, unexpected heartaches that leave us breathless and soaked from weeping. Perhaps he simply needs a friend other than himself. Maybe he was misquoted, or the journal made a typo. Let’s hope, because the message is like yet another rudderless ship set loose on the dangerous (and not very deep) sea of Alternative Truths.
The goal of life is not to live forever … it’s to LOVE forever.
And yet, a well respected venture capital firm disparagingly dismissed love as a virtue by proclaiming that “love doesn’t scale.” Really? We can clearly see how quickly hate can grow and spread; so why not love? Love may not scale in the same way that technology does, but it can certainly become contagious if allowed and encouraged. And it is also unencumbered by many of the harmful side-effects attached to many technologies. All technologies come with a cost; but love is both free and freeing. So is forgiveness.
Any worthwhile society must measure itself by how it cares for its children. Do we care for them enough so that they feel encouraged to stay engaged and keep trying, despite setbacks or heartaches? Are they happy? Do they have the opportunity to flourish? And, most important, do they feel loved?
Love is not a superficial distraction. Love endures — both here and now and, of course, in eternity. Which continues to be in session. The souls among us deserve love, while they remain in our midst. If nothing else, we can love those still here in honor of those who are not. Especially those who left us far too early but still reside in eternity. Love lives forever. And it does indeed scale. If we let it.
The Whether Vein 
There is so much here, Gil. But let me first say I am sorry for the loss of your young friend. Please know he shines here.
Having recently returned from France, I cannot agree more with your line, “We no longer have manners, so our morale and our morals are in the dumps.” It was immediately apparent upon landing.
In France every day still starts with, “Bonjour!” and is showered with “pardon’s” and merci’s” throughout the day with friends and strangers alike. What does this say but, in Lyon, Dijon, and Paris communities are still “a cohesive collection of souls who engage with each other.”
How they do it, I don’t know. They too have their cell phones.
Better mothers, is my best guess.